Mixed feelings about a completed family tree
For some genealogists, completing their
family tree when they are young means they are half-completed entries
for their parents and grandparents. Why? Because these relatives are
still living and the death blank can not be completed. This is a good
thing. You spend your time working on the relatives starting with
great-grandparents and working backward.
In my youth, I had one grandparent's
blank complete as my grandpa Lew Brown had died when I was nearly 3.
I was fortunate enough to have met and had a few memories with my
dad's parents and many with my mother's mom. The Geiszlers were
placed in a nursing home when I was in middle school. I was never
able to visit them in the nursing home and they both died when I was
in college. My Grannie Louise Brown lived and was a part of my life,
despite the great distance between our homes (Texas to Ohio) and
pre-Facebook days. She died at the ripe age of 92 and I was in my
thirties. The grandparent's death date blanks were now all complete.
In the mean time, I had started a
family and had two children. Shortly after meeting my second child,
my father died, 10 years after I graduated high school. My children
would have the commonality with me. They would not know one of their
grandparents. My mother died not long ago after meeting all of my
children. My oldest children have some memories of Grandpa Penny.
However, the youngest two won't have many memories, if any. My
ancestral family tree now has all of the blanks completed for my
nearest ancestors. My children's tree have my half of their tree with
completed entries. Their father's side still has their grandparents
incomplete as they are living and active parts of their lives.
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Grannie's family tree had completed death information for much of her life: meaning, her grandparents and parents had all died before she was 17. |
Since my mother died, I have felt like
an orphan. Then I had a realization, that my Grannie was an orphan
with a completed family tree when she was 17. She had one grandmother
whom she never met because her death line was complete long before
Louise was born. Her grandfather William Lester Long, owner of Long's
Pharmacy in Columbus, Ohio, died when she was 5. In the 1930s, Louise
would complete the blanks for her remaining two grandparents and her
parents. Her Grandma Angie died when she was 11, Grandpa Smith died
when she was 13, her mother died shortly before her 14th
birthday and her father died when she was 17. She was more of an
orphan, meaning at a younger age than I was, including the fact that
her birth mother died due to child birth.
Then I thought of my mother. She never
knew her grandparents, again, because Grannie's parents had died long
before Mom was born. Grandpa Lew's parents had died many years before
Mom was born as well. However, mom grew into adulthood and was
married with two children before her father passed away. Her
grandparent's blanks were completed before she was born and now she
had her father's death information to add to her chart. Her mother's
death blank was completed long after Mom's children were born,
raised, married, and having a family of their own. Mom didn't really
feel like a total orphan.
As I said, the family tree that my
children will complete has all the birth, marriage, and death lines
complete for their pedigree chart for their Geiszler/Brown
grandparents. I'm fortunate, that this line goes back four more
generations before the lines are blank because of brick walls. On
their father's side, the blanks are completed when they reach
great-grandparents. They are very, very fortunate with this regard.
I can not predict the future, nor would
I want to. In reviewing my family tree, there are sometimes I wish a
few blanks were not complete. I wish they weren't complete because
that would mean those individuals were living with a death blank yet
to be determined.
Working on our family history gives us many things to think about. Are there things I can learn about longevity from my ancestors? Are there things I can empathize with? Is a completed chart all there is to my family members?
When we begin look beyond names, dates, and places to complete the pedigree chart, we find the heart of family history. Something I stress in my upcoming book 21st Century Family Historian, available at Amazon.com. The charts are only tools to guide us to the stories we can learn. So although my chart is complete, much like that of my grandmother's, the stories are going to keep me from being too sad.
Working on our family history gives us many things to think about. Are there things I can learn about longevity from my ancestors? Are there things I can empathize with? Is a completed chart all there is to my family members?
When we begin look beyond names, dates, and places to complete the pedigree chart, we find the heart of family history. Something I stress in my upcoming book 21st Century Family Historian, available at Amazon.com. The charts are only tools to guide us to the stories we can learn. So although my chart is complete, much like that of my grandmother's, the stories are going to keep me from being too sad.
I can understand your feelings here, but I have found that my incomplete/complete entries on my tree have saved my life and my families in some cases. It made me aware of certain health issues that weren't so common in the days of my elders, but looking back through my branches. I and even a geneticist (who helped me discover my genetic problem...) saw the commonality in some of my past family members. I was then able to share this information with that side of the tree and let them become aware of the genetic disorder known as Cowden's Disease. This has saved a couple family members, including myself from having to deal with certain types of cancer later in life.
ReplyDeleteWhile I was able to meet some of my past grandparents, I missed a few, but I know them as well through what they left behind as I do any living relatives I have today. Even my niece knows the names of some long relatives and can tell you a bit about them as well. Through genealogy and sharing of history, no one can be truly lost or forgotten...in my opinion. I would have never known them at all had I not started genealogy. It saved my life and let me know them long after they had departed.
Magen...
DeleteWow. Thank you so much! Like I said, I've had mixed feelings. I know that heart disease and weight caused a number of deaths on my father's side and to be mindful of that. I think I took the other side of the health issue for granted. Your comment makes me focus more on the positive side of things. How amazing to know the impact of family history on our lives now. I enjoyed your comments greatly.