It’s wedding season for the June brides. But let’s go back in time to see if you’d like to have these vows recited:
Can you guess what year this small writing appeared in print?
The modern bridegroom led the modern bride to the altar. The modern clergyman was waiting for them with his modern wedding ceremony.
“Will you,” he said to the bridegroom, “take this divorced woman to be your social wife, to have and to hold until you are both tired of each other?”
“I will,” said the groom, “with the understanding that she is not to kick up a row, no matter who I bring home with me, and that she turns over all her available cash to help me out of my scrapes.”
“And will you,” sad the clergyman to the woman, “take this man to be your companion in misery for so long as you think best?”
“I will,” said the woman, “if I don’t have to nurse him when he is sick or take breakfast with him.”
“Is there any one,” said the clergyman, “who objects?”
“No one,” said the spokesman for the congregation. “We are all very glad of it. It makes gossip, and the mere fact that we are here will enable us to have our names in the papers. Let the ceremony proceed.”
“There!” said the clergyman, “I prounce you man and wife. Send me a check or cash by registered mail, give your names and a description of your presents to the society reporters, and when you want a divorce, here’s the card of the best lawyer in the business.”
Now, I’m not making fun of the institution of marriage. I love my hubby tons and the children we’re raising together. I was just surprised by the date of this article. Have any idea what it is, without looking ahead?
I would say the modern day – 2017. Or perhaps the “Me Generation” of the 1980s.
But I would be wrong! Completely wrong. So far off, that I was shocked that this piece appeared in the 20 February 1904 edition of The Daily Tacoma of Tacoma, Washington. 1904! That was a shock.